Funny how you have to clean out your closets over and over. Why is that? Why can't you get something straightened out and move on and never have to go over it again? It's like grade school, every year you spend a good month going over all the stuff you learned the year before, relearning it, before you can move on.

I hate my closet. I really do. I like it to be clean, orgainzed, easy to see things, and store away all the stuff I don't want showing around my house. But it never really works out that way. For one reason I guess I have too much stuff. Its too hard to make decisions and get rid of some things, its easier to stuff it in a closet to worry about later.

Well, if it was a big enough closet, that 'later' would never have to come, and we could keep holding on to zillions of things we don't want to face making any decisions over and get rid of or find homes for. Yep yep.

Did you ever clean out a drawer, or a closet, and find it in shambles just days or a few weeks later? how many times do  you clean out that space under your kitchen sink? or even your garage?

What about the closet of your life? How many times have you had to sort through and clean out all the old memories, the grudges, the bad feelings, the disappointments, the trophies, and other items you keep collecting, because they all fall down and make a mess every few months or years? Why can't we get them all boxed up and put away and never have to open them up again?

Can I pray for a bigger closet?

The older I get the smaller my closet gets, and the more frequently it is a jumbled mess. That image of being an 'adult' with all  your ducks lined up and in a row, is a sham. . . the brass ring is very tarnished.  Welcome to the Big Top, kid. Here's your closet. Be careful what you put in it, because it shrinks.

lol.

now that I am completely positive no one reads this anymore, I am going to vent. I feel a very strong need to preface my venting with the fact that the older I get, the more I need to vent. The more I try to be a Christ Follower, the more I notice all that I do and say that is NOT indicative of a Christ follower. Thus the ranting. I am actually going on a mission trip in a couple months and lo and behold, I don't really know the people I am going with. Rather than see this as the opportunity that it is, to get to know very well others that are part of my company that I don't normally work with, I saw. . . 'bummer, boring ,no one fun going.'  . .

Such a cad I am. About a group of people that I really don't even know!  The funny part is I am likely one of the strongest people going(physically)  - males included - seriously! And thats probably even WITH my shoulder injury! Good Lord. Please don't have us doing any roofing or tearing up concrete or anything. . .

Help me to have a better perspective on this deal. I am taking my daughter so if nothing else it should be a wonderful opportunity for me and her to spend some quality time together and to do something useful. My friend Tammy gave me a hard time about it and told me its not about me anyway. . .well. . .duh. .

When do we ever grow up?

I totaled my car Friday on my way to work. Now how's that for juvenile? Fortunately I only hit Fred the telephone pole and he decided to not move out of my way, or even move at all. Apparently they do move sometimes.

Anyway I hate dealing with claims. This is why I have never worked in the claims department. The only way I could work in the claims department would be as a staff adjuster not a line adjuster. A staff adjuster would be one that did research but never directly handled individual claims. I am leaning more towards the acutuarial side of the company actually, I can't tell yet if I would prefer to do reinsurance or pricing development, but I find it way more fascinating than claims. Claims make me sick inside.

Dealing with the adjusters makes me nervous. My husband makes me even more nervous becuase he always disagrees with the adjusters and then expects me to be the go between - Right now I am asking the only claims adjuster I know what the book value is on my car and if we have the right to ask for an independent appraisal on it - all this makes me very nervous and i feel crummy. I am grumpy and venting this is good therapy.  I hate feeling like I am taking advantage of someone - This is how my husband felt when I invited family members to help jack up our house in exchange for beer and lasagne - only he had the power to veto it and make them not come help. Not only did they not come help, but we never did jack up the house. So we had a permanent slope on the front end of the house - it did make for great Hungry Hungry Hippo leverage. . . at least, with very young contestants. .

Unfortunately, I don't have the veto power. Not yet anyway. My desire to assist my spouse is stronger at this moment than my distaste for questioning the adjusters. I am positive that there is a point where that changes though, so I don't really feel like some victimized penelope pitstop or anything here, I just have a very high threshold

ok I am done venting. My claims adjuster friend is coming through for me so thats kewl. cheers!